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Jim Halpert: What did you do prison Mike?
Michael Scott: [pretending he went to prison] I stole and I robbed and I kidnapped the President's son and held him for ransom.
Jim Halpert: That is quite the rap sheet, prison Mike.
Michael Scott: And I never got caught neither.
Jim Halpert: Well... you're in prison but uh huh.
Pam Beesley: Prison Mike, what was the food like in prison?
Michael Scott: Gruel... sandwiches, gruel omelettes. Nothing but gruel. Plus you can eat your own hair.